Supporting your wife

Photo from anattitudeadjustment

We all try to be superwoman. There is enormous pressure on women to be the perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, chef, career woman and all round super model. But sometimes it gets to be too much and we need support from our partners. 

Here's anonymous's take on how a husband can support his wife.

What it means to support your wife:

1. Do not fight with her. She will stop talking to you if you keep fighting about everything. When you get home from work, go take 10 min to 'get work off'. Don't bring work fights and anger home.

2. Support her dreams- Encourage her to dream and do what you can to make her dreams come true. Work out a plan of action so that you can make her dreams come true.

3. Acknowledge that what she does has value. Being a housewife and taking care of your children is JUST AS IMPORTANT as your 8-5 job. There's an old email that works out the cost of hiring people to do the job of a mother or housewife. You cannot hire them all on your salary. So instead of fighting with her about how much money she spent keeping the house going, rather praise her for what she has done to keep your house in running order. Life is expensive. She's cutting as many corners as she can, trying to make you happy by saving money. How about trusting her that she's doing the best she can with what she has? There's nothing as soul destroying as having to worry about keeping your husband happy with how you spend money, hoping that you can keep everybody fed and he shows no gratitude for what you do.

4. Give her an allowance that's just for her. So that she can spend money on magazines or coffee with a friend without feeling guilty. Work out a similar amount for yourself that you can spend on the things that you want.

5. Listen when she talks. If she says she's not coping, she needs more than just “Aaw shame, I'm sorry” and a pat on the back. Get out of your own world and help her.  Help her with the kids, the washing, the cleaning, cooking or shopping. Take the load off of her so that she can rest, recover and get back to being all she can be.

6. Take her out for coffee or go on a date night without complaining about what it costs. You're paying to spend focussed, relaxed time together. Don't mess it up by complaining about the cost. Restaurants have online menus these days. Go do your research and find a place to suit your pocket.

You will have peace in your home:

-If your wife knows that she can trust you. If she knows she can come to you openly and you will not fight with her.

-If she knows she is safe with you.  That you will keep her safe, making sure the house is safe in whatever way that may mean: fixing broken things or letting her get it fixed without fighting about what it costs. Or making sure the doors are locked before bed time.

-If she knows that you think she is beautiful. She needs to hear you say it. Making comments about how hot an actress is, is not your manly right, it's disrespectful and hurtful to your wife.

-If she knows that you love her, no matter what. Say it 10 times a day, and mean it.

Praise her in front of other people. The woman in Proverbs 31 is running a huge enterprise and taking care of her family and the community and she can do that because her husband supports her and trusts her.

She's your wife and your helper, not your mom. She chose to marry you. Be a husband, father, and protector. 

Keep her heart safe.